hey mom can you help me roll this blunt
no one saw me wear it therefore it is not dirty
Alternatively: everyone saw me wear it yesterday, but I own a washing machine so I could’ve washed it since then (I didn’t wash it).
people saw me wearing it yesterday but there will be different people seeing me today therefore it is not dirty
alternatively: wash ur damn clothes
when you click a button you didnt mean to click so you just kinda hold the click and drag your cursor around hoping it doesnt click
You know whats fucking scary? The fact that I could literally change my life at any moment. I could stop talking to everyone that makes me unhappy. I could kiss whoever i want. I could shave my head or get on a plane or take my own life. Nothing is stopping me. The entire world is in my hands, and I have no idea what to do with it.
my best friend just realized 30 minutes before her curfew that she’s an hour away from home in the most dangerous part of the city alone with the buses no longer running so she calls the police to take her home i cant stop laughing
update the cop that came to pick her up is a hot 20 year old guy thats flirting with her and now im not laughing anymore
SHE FUCKING HOOKED UP WITH THE COP
no matter what you’re good at there will be a 7 year old chinese kid who’s better